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No Shave Movember

December 1, 2010

Brie Taylor
No Shave Movember

Ahh, autumn.  The most wondrous of seasons.  The morning air is fresh and clear, the leaves are golden hues of shimmering delight, and for four magical weeks men stop shaving. That's right. We just had No Shave November.

I love beards.  Love ‘em.  I’d go so far as to call it a fetish.  It is my general belief that every man looks better with a beard.  If Quasimodo had just grown a beard, that whole starving-to-death-while-clutching-the-rotting-corpse-of-the-only-woman-to-show-him-kindness thing might have turned out pretty differently.  There’s nothing I enjoy more than snuggling up in my knitted scarf on a chilly November day, sipping a cinnamon soy latte and watching bearded CMCers pass by.

But I was recently informed that No Shave November is actually designed to serve a higher purpose than my beard fetish.  Huh.  Who knew?

Starting yesterday and continuing until tomorrow night, we can vote for the month's Best Beard; we pay to vote, and the money raised goes to prostate cancer research. Voting will begin this week during snack, and will be $1 for one vote, $5 for six votes, and $10 for 15 votes.  You all should vote.  I’ll probably just go ahead and vote for everyone, to make sure tons of money is raised and the tradition continues.  It’s all for a good cause, right?

This is why I love America.  In England we have something similar, but it’s based on mustaches, which I hate.  My hatred of mustaches is almost on par with my love of beards.  But many Brits ignore me and celebrate “Movember” anyway, growing mustaches to raise funds and awareness for men's health issues.  It’s an international movement, though other countries seem to have transitioned from mustaches to beards more so than my home isle.

People can donate on the Movember website, but the event is also about awareness.  How it works: a person inquires about a friend’s kooky new facial hair choice and the mustachioed individual can explain a little about men’s health issues, and direct said inquirer to the Movember website, where they can learn and donate.  You can also learn and donate, and experience being a little bit British for a day. ‘Tis rather spiffing.

These causes are great, but rest on the premises that CMCers don’t normally grow beards, and that British people recognize that mustaches are ridiculous.  (Pomona kids apparently didn’t get the whole mustaches are a joke memo. Go to Pub.  It's like a less smokey version of an ‘80s porno set.) We CMCers are a pretty preppy bunch, and our clean-cut looks reflect it.  Take Alexander Reichert - always so dapper.  He's like something out of a Hemingway novel.  Sure, there are a few rugged renegades consistently shunning razors; I burn most of my day's calories stopping myself from jumping Johnny Lenahan at snack.  But many brave young boys have gone against their nature in going gruff for the month, and we should come out in support of them and the great causes behind the tradition.  Plus, if we don't, the tradition might end, and my wrath would be upon you for killing my favorite holiday.  Hell hath no fury like a woman deprived of a slight annual increase in stubbled eye candy.

So come to snack this week, bring some dollars, and vote. Vote or die.  Here are some previews of those few brave souls that finished:

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