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Letters to Freshmen: A 'Resident' Funny Girl's "To-Do" List

September 10, 2010

Kathryn Mgrublian
Letters to Freshmen: A 'Resident' Funny Girl's "To-Do" List

This letter of advice comes from senior Kathryn Mgrublian. Kathryn is the RA of Phillips and also is the director of the 5C improvisational comedy group Without A Box. She imparts her wisdom about some of the quirky little things that  collectively make up our lives as students of the Claremont Colleges.

Dearest Freshmen,

I was asked by the kind people at the Forum to provide you with some sage advice. Uncertain of my sagely-ness, I decided to create a “To-Do List,” predominantly because CMC students are “Doers” at their core. As a disclaimer, I have completed most of the items on this list at one point in my CMC career. I also have to admit that some of these items elicit a “really Kathryn, really?” response, but will be shared anyway.

Alright here we go:

  • Do… spend at least two to three hours in your dorm room with your roommate and/or friend learning a dance that is popularized by an entertainer questionably identified as a “hip-hop artist” (see Crank That Dance by Soulja Boy). When you whip it out during a party, other people will be mildly impressed, yet secretly embarrassed for you at the same time.

  • Do….only buy brownie bites from Trader Joe's so that when you find yourself hungry at night you are able to eat the entire thing in one sitting. Make sure you are alone. And you will feel ill.

  • Do…take a trip to Harvey Mudd at approximately 11 o’clock on a Tuesday night and find a group of Mudders huddling silently around a bonfire. Make sure you join them, because they’ll start chanting soon!

  • Do…accidentally break a plate in Collins and have people clap for you.

  • Do….“accidentally” drop your plastic cup in Frary Dining Hall. You’ll enjoy the outcome.

  • Do…take a date to Pomona’s Frank Dining Hall (on South Campus) because you won’t see anyone you know and who doesn’t love décor of the Marie Callendar's sort?

  • Do….become close friends with someone from another 5C college because everyone needs the personal experience of being made fun of for going to CMC. At the same time, you will need to practice with your verbal retorts. So, get to hurling.

  • Do…understand that you will own approximately five or more man-tanks.

  • Do…give into the fact that half of your wardrobe will either come from American Apparel or looks like it comes from American Apparel.

  • Do… memorize the lyrics to CMC’s song so Professor Ward Elliott and Elizabeth Morgan aren’t the only people actually singing the song at Convocation and Graduation.

These are just a few of the things I suggest you complete while at CMC since before you know it, you'll be known as the chick/dude who spends way too much time in Ryal Lab pondering life in the real world. So go on freshmen and start churning out those lasting memories!

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