The Best (Laziest) Jobs on Campus

Rejected by the Rose? Can’t find a prof who needs an assistant? Mortified at the thought of a hard day’s work? I’ve got a treat for you. If you can fog up a knife (and in some cases cash a federal work-study check) you can slum your way through these, the laziest jobs on campus.

5. Event Security- This is that thing you’re always getting emails about before basketball games and big parties. It pays twelve bucks an hour and is incredibly easy. You just stand in front of stuff and make sure people come in the entry and go out the exit. If you can’t figure this job out you are deeply unprepared for college. Downsides: you have to be fast to get a slot doing this. Have fun skipping the biggest parties of the semester to stand sober (?) in the cold all night long.

4. LTA- Lab techs make something just above minimum wage (but hey it isn’t work-study) to sit in the computer labs and do their homework. Seriously have you ever seen them do real work? I thought so. When I asked my esteemed Forum colleagues about lazy jobs this was the immediate consensus. Downsides: sometimes you have to go get new printer paper; sometimes a dumbass freshman breaks a computer or something.

3. RTA- This is what every LTA dreams of one day growing up to be. “Work” from your room, help idiots figure out the difference between a phone jack and an ethernet jack, schedule visiting hours at seven in the morning on a Saturday. And it looks good on a resume! Downsides: I’m sure I’ll hear these in an angry anonymous post by an RTA.

2. Campus Escort- The jackpot. Seriously, this is the best job on campus. Any campus. Ever. It’s a work-study dispenser where you’ll endure ordeals like sitting in the hub watching basketball, sitting in the library napping, and, toughest of all, forgetting a shift and realizing nobody noticed because you were the only one who’d been going to begin with. Downsides: None.

1. Forum Fellow- I just got paid 25 dollars to write this. No kidding.