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Note To Self: Do Your Research Before Attending The Athenaeum

February 7, 2009

by Matt Moone
Note To Self: Do Your Research Before Attending The Athenaeum

Last week I was approached by an anonymous suite mate and the following dialogue ensued: Suite-mate: Did you hear who they have coming to the Ath? Me: No (What’s the Ath?) Suite-mate: They have a tantric sex specialist, he’s going to be teaching sexual tips? Me: Did you say coming “to” or “in”?

He had me at “Suite-mate:”…

Naturally I minimized “The Wall Street Journal” (Adult content) from my web-browser and booked a reservation for myself and my lady friend. Two days later, Monday comes around and in I walk to the Athenaeum with a smile on my face and partner in hand. Rather than entering a dungeon of sexual prowess, I walked right into my worst nightmare… a history lesson. Unfortunately this history lesson didn’t include going Lewis and Clark on the human anatomy. Instead it consisted of a very lengthy and detailed lecture on the history of yoga as told through ancient stone carvings. Nothing against the speaker or those who invited him, but it’s hard to learn about the erection of a monument when I find myself in a similar state. My lesson to you readers out there: do your research before attending the Athenaeum. The speakers provided are some of the brightest minds in their respective fields, so going in prepared will serve you well. Not only will you have a better appreciation and understanding of the material discussed, but you will have the privilege to ask the speaker any questions that you may have pertaining to the particular subject or their field of study.

Although the lecture was about as arousing as “swingers night” at the nursing home, I must admit, the lecture served its intended purpose. Much like a batting coach uses a weighted donut during baseball warm ups, the lengthy non-sexual lecture left me swinging for the fences following my departure. So thank you Athenaeum.

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