Hope I'm This Cool When I Graduate

Forget the feature articles--the most interesting part of CMC magazine is definitely the Class Notes section, where alums write in to tell their classmates what they're up to these days. Gross generalizations to be made after reading? Our alums are successful, content, enjoy lots of leisure time, and still know how to party. None of this is surprising, but still reassuring to hear. Here's a few highlights from the most recent issues of the magazine:

One gentleman from the class of '51 seems to be making the most out of the financial crisis, writing that he's planning a 6-month cruise aboard his friend's 38-foot cruiser.

This note from the class of '52 brings big sappy pathetic tears to the eyes of any hopeless romantic:

"A campus courtship with a beautiful Pomona girl-- Patricia Dunlap, who married me after my sophomore year, who drilled me on how to prepare for a test, and who later brought four beautiful children into our lives-- made my life even better.

The wife of a '52 alum appears on TV ad " to hawk Dr. Frank's Miracle Pain Cure...if you see the ad, you will be impressed with her poise and acting ability. We might be seeing the rise of a star on the small screen."

A '53 gentleman was referred to as "our secret government airplane driver from the Vietnam era," had also recently completed the Iditarod, and his excuse for not climbing Mt. Everest is that his Depends kept freezing so he opted to do the Matterhorn instead.

Another member of '53 "enjoys the open spaces, the smell of horses, and maybe an adult beverage or two."

[...apparently anyone who graduated in the 60s, 70s, and 80s is too boring or, more likely, too busy and apathetic to share interesting news of themselves...]

A group from the class of '96 went to Phoenix, Arizona for "a Spring Training weekend of baseball and beer:"

The following things may or may not have happened but probably sound familiar to readers of this column-- Aaron annoyed a family of five staying at the same hotel with the crew, Nick successfully rode a mechanical bull, the Cubs had more errors than runs against the Angels, Terry got lost in Scottsdale, Jerry was very late, Kramer fell asleep somewhere besides his own bed, Ravi spoke spoke publicly of his knowledge of the Kama Sutra (including footnotes), Greger explained the evolutionary theory of how beer saved humanity, things were set on fire, and Cowley got really mad about something, yet nobody knew why, including him the next day. Make sure you also ask one of the participants about our proposal to add the following onto the CMC motto: "vicis est viaticus!"

Some '96 graduates have become more obscure than wild-- one guy wrote wrote an encyclopedia chapter on the history of American black contributions in Maine. Another is working for the company that discovered the cutie/clementine, a cross between an orange and a mandarin.

Others seem to have resigned themselves to the utterly average. One alum has been "brokering a large plot of land in the San Diego area and putting the miles on his Ford Explorer and his Facebook friends know well that he continues to enjoy large amounts of tea." Real estate+San Diego+Ford Explorer+Facebook+Tea=Boring?

The creme de la creme, however, comes from one of our recent grads: Harsha Kodali '08 says he's having a mimosa on Mars. We lift our glasses to you, dear sir.

Note: Names mostly withheld because you can look them up yourselves in CMC magazine.

Full disclosure: I work for CMC magazine.